Tag: love

Harmonizing Your Blended Family

Blended FamilyIn a family, sometime a separation is inevitable. This can happen either because of a divorce or death. It is always a sad thing to see the children must separated from the parent that they love. Fortunately many of those single families are lucky enough to be able finding other partner to form a new relationship and start a new family. And sometimes parenting to unify the children that come from mix family is challenging task and require hard work from the parent. This is because the children may raised with different tradition, attitude and discipline.

Bonding with your spouse children

Getting close to your spouse children is the important key in harmonizing your mix or blended family. Unfortunately sometime it is not easy to get close and bonding your spouse children. The children naturally will are more attaching to their natural parents. Many of them even reject their parent new spouse as they feel you are trying to replace their own parent.

You need to communicate and make your spouse children understand that you are not a replacement for their parent. Ask your spouse help to get closer to his or her children. Make a time to bonding and spending time with your spouse children with and without your spouse. This can help building a communication and relationship between your spouse children and you as their new parent, by letting both parties knows and understand about each other little by little. This will take time, patience and communication to get close to your spouse children.

Setting up the common discipline

Both parents must setting up the common rules and discipline for the children from both family. Therefore there are no children that feel disadvantages and unfair from the rules. To setting up the rules both parent must respect to their new spouse previous family dynamics, rules and tradition, then discuss the rules that can be applied to their children.

Both parents must commit to apply those rules accordingly. For transition period before the children are close to their new parent, parent can let their spouse to discipline their own children.

 

Step parenting is not a simple task; it will need your patience and determination. But with your compassion, love and your understanding you may be able to gain their respect and able to build a harmonize family with your blended family.

Recognizing the Teen Relationships

Teen RelationshipsMany people when they think of the word relationship automatically equate it to love or sexual relationship. According to the general definition of relationship this is any connection between two or more elements and these elements can be anything from chemical substances to human beings. So from this definition it is simple to deduct the meaning of this word applied to human beings. A teen relationship can be any kind of relationship

Between teens of the same gender

Between teens of the opposite gender, like boyfriend girlfriend relationships

Between teens and other persons of the same or different gender and different age.

The quality of these relationships can also vary, but there are two kinds of teenager relationships I’m going to talk about here;

Teen friendships and

Teen love relationships

Teen Friendships

This kind of teenager relationship will fit into all three categories above. It can exist between a teenager and other persons of same or different gender and age. A good friend – no matter age or gender – is one of the best things you can have on this earth. A really good friend that is special to you and means much to you. A person that is always there for you.

Many successful love relationships has started with friendship and this is probably the reason for its success. The better you know the other person, the better you’ll go along with him or her and in a long lasting love relationship – as man and woman – your appreciation of your partner as a friend will mean much more than anything else.

If we look at it from the other end, it seems much more difficult to build a friendship from a love or sexual relationship. In fact, I have not heard about it, maybe you have but the point is that a good friendship is always good to have both as a basis of a future love relationship and as a friendship by itself.

A teenage friendship can exist between anyone no matter what gender, age, race, background or whatever. A 13 year old girl and a 50 year old man can have a great and even lifelong friendship together as well as two teenagers of the same gender.

Teen love relationships

While you can talk quite frankly and straight forward in a friendship most of us are more aware of not hurting the partner in a love relationship. This can evolve to a degree of lies and even no communication at all just to protect your partner.

There are also more mutual expectations in a love relationship and more intimate emotions are involved than in a good friendship. A teen love relationship can be great and long lasting but if there is no basis of friendship in it the probability of sustaining it is significantly lower.

There are some legally defined limitations with regards to who can go into a teen love or sexual relationship. It is illegal for people of 18 years and above to have a sexual relation to a minor but it is definitely not illegal to have older friends.

A good friendship is one of the best gifts God has provided our lives with and even if you marry the sweetest boy or girl in the world, neither of you will be happy if you aren’t good friends.

Preventing Children Bad Behavior Before It Starts III

Preventing Children Bad BehaviorIn this final part we will discuss about the parent’s side themselves and their attention to their children.

Know yourself

In addition to being in tune with your child’s style; you need to be aware of what your particular needs are. It will always lead to trouble if you expect lots of peace and quiet after work, but your kids need your help with homework and a ride to soccer.

If you are tense and irritable, it will most certainly translate to misbehavior in your kids. Busy schedules rarely enable parents to have a peaceful dinner hour, but perhaps you can insist on twenty minutes to unwind in your room before you join the fray downstairs.

My mother made a rule that we couldn’t ask anything of her until she had changed into her jeans. That was our signal that she had decompressed after work and was ready to engage in the family hubbub.

Pay attention

Children often misbehave simply to get their parents’ attention. Though it confounds adults, children would rather be yelled at than be ignored. Perhaps it is Darwinian–in the wild, to be ignored by a parent meant that you weren’t safe.

Whatever its origin, this aspect of child-rearing can be very trying. Negative cycles can so easily begin by a child learning that acting up is the surest way to get a parent’s attention. The only way to avoid this is to lavish love and attention on your child when they are behaving well. Enjoy their company and play games with them.

Praise them with words and gestures often. Reward your child with special activities with you–not with toys and treats. If you sense that your children are acting up more than they should, then that is a sign that you need to stop waiting for your children to misbehave before you give them your attention. With all the love and attention from you that they need, there won’t be many reasons to misbehave!

 

This article was written by Katie Basson. Katie Basson is a parent, teacher, and creator of The BITs Kit Better Behavior Kit for Kids™. Katie teaches seminars on behavior modification techniques, and assists parents through challenging behavioral and educational issues. She serves on the Board of Directors of the YWCA and is an educational advisor to Zoesis, Inc., a children’s software company. Katie’s expert advice has been sought for articles in The Boston Globe and Parents Magazine.