Tag: love

Recognizing the Teen Relationships

Teen RelationshipsMany people when they think of the word relationship automatically equate it to love or sexual relationship. According to the general definition of relationship this is any connection between two or more elements and these elements can be anything from chemical substances to human beings. So from this definition it is simple to deduct the meaning of this word applied to human beings. A teen relationship can be any kind of relationship

Between teens of the same gender

Between teens of the opposite gender, like boyfriend girlfriend relationships

Between teens and other persons of the same or different gender and different age.

The quality of these relationships can also vary, but there are two kinds of teenager relationships I’m going to talk about here;

Teen friendships and

Teen love relationships

Teen Friendships

This kind of teenager relationship will fit into all three categories above. It can exist between a teenager and other persons of same or different gender and age. A good friend – no matter age or gender – is one of the best things you can have on this earth. A really good friend that is special to you and means much to you. A person that is always there for you.

Many successful love relationships has started with friendship and this is probably the reason for its success. The better you know the other person, the better you’ll go along with him or her and in a long lasting love relationship – as man and woman – your appreciation of your partner as a friend will mean much more than anything else.

If we look at it from the other end, it seems much more difficult to build a friendship from a love or sexual relationship. In fact, I have not heard about it, maybe you have but the point is that a good friendship is always good to have both as a basis of a future love relationship and as a friendship by itself.

A teenage friendship can exist between anyone no matter what gender, age, race, background or whatever. A 13 year old girl and a 50 year old man can have a great and even lifelong friendship together as well as two teenagers of the same gender.

Teen love relationships

While you can talk quite frankly and straight forward in a friendship most of us are more aware of not hurting the partner in a love relationship. This can evolve to a degree of lies and even no communication at all just to protect your partner.

There are also more mutual expectations in a love relationship and more intimate emotions are involved than in a good friendship. A teen love relationship can be great and long lasting but if there is no basis of friendship in it the probability of sustaining it is significantly lower.

There are some legally defined limitations with regards to who can go into a teen love or sexual relationship. It is illegal for people of 18 years and above to have a sexual relation to a minor but it is definitely not illegal to have older friends.

A good friendship is one of the best gifts God has provided our lives with and even if you marry the sweetest boy or girl in the world, neither of you will be happy if you aren’t good friends.

Preventing Children Bad Behavior Before It Starts III

Preventing Children Bad BehaviorIn this final part we will discuss about the parent’s side themselves and their attention to their children.

Know yourself

In addition to being in tune with your child’s style; you need to be aware of what your particular needs are. It will always lead to trouble if you expect lots of peace and quiet after work, but your kids need your help with homework and a ride to soccer.

If you are tense and irritable, it will most certainly translate to misbehavior in your kids. Busy schedules rarely enable parents to have a peaceful dinner hour, but perhaps you can insist on twenty minutes to unwind in your room before you join the fray downstairs.

My mother made a rule that we couldn’t ask anything of her until she had changed into her jeans. That was our signal that she had decompressed after work and was ready to engage in the family hubbub.

Pay attention

Children often misbehave simply to get their parents’ attention. Though it confounds adults, children would rather be yelled at than be ignored. Perhaps it is Darwinian–in the wild, to be ignored by a parent meant that you weren’t safe.

Whatever its origin, this aspect of child-rearing can be very trying. Negative cycles can so easily begin by a child learning that acting up is the surest way to get a parent’s attention. The only way to avoid this is to lavish love and attention on your child when they are behaving well. Enjoy their company and play games with them.

Praise them with words and gestures often. Reward your child with special activities with you–not with toys and treats. If you sense that your children are acting up more than they should, then that is a sign that you need to stop waiting for your children to misbehave before you give them your attention. With all the love and attention from you that they need, there won’t be many reasons to misbehave!

 

This article was written by Katie Basson. Katie Basson is a parent, teacher, and creator of The BITs Kit Better Behavior Kit for Kids™. Katie teaches seminars on behavior modification techniques, and assists parents through challenging behavioral and educational issues. She serves on the Board of Directors of the YWCA and is an educational advisor to Zoesis, Inc., a children’s software company. Katie’s expert advice has been sought for articles in The Boston Globe and Parents Magazine.

10 Ways Dads Can Build Their Daughter’s Self-Esteem

Dad and DaughterWhile both parents are important to their children, fathers have a very real impact on not only the way their daughters view men as a whole, but also the way that they view the world. As a father, it’s important that you take an active role in your daughter’s life and provide her with the affection and affirmations she needs to grow into a confident, secure adult. These ten tips can help you build up your daughter’s self-esteem while strengthening your relationship as a whole.

Throw Away Gender Stereotypes – Your daughter needs to know that she can be anything she wants to be, as long as she’s determined to succeed and makes an effort to do so. That means that she needs to know that she’s just as capable of being an astronaut as a wife and mother, and that she’s not hemmed in by her gender. Throw away societal gender roles and spend time playing catch or tinkering with cars, if that’s what she’s into. Don’t tell your daughter that a particular activity is “just for boys” and focus on encouraging her interests.

Show Respect for Women – More than respecting her, your daughter should be able to see you openly appreciating and respecting women as a whole. Refrain from making gender-based quips, even in jest. She’ll only learn that she’s part of a group that you think of as incapable or ineffectual, and somehow inherently inferior to her male peers.

Spend Quality Time Together – It’s important that you spend quality time with your daughter, doing something she likes to do, forging a bond and making memories of a functioning, close relationship. Sometimes all your daughter needs is your attention, so be sure that you’re not depriving her of that fulfillment.

Maintain an Open Line of Communication – It’s much easier to keep lines of communication open when your daughter is a child, as the experiences of growing up and becoming a teenage girl are something that even the most involved father has difficulty identifying with. Just be there for your daughter, listen to her when she speaks and make sure she knows that there’s nothing she can’t discuss with you.

Share Your Expertise – Teaching your daughter new skills not only gives her practical knowledge that will prove useful later in life, it also provides you with the chance to spend time together and gives her the sense of accomplishment that comes along with knowing that she’s mastered something new.

Praise Her Efforts and Accomplishments – Telling your daughter that she’s pretty lets her know that you value her looks, but it’s also important to make a point of praising her accomplishments and efforts. The lion’s share of her self-esteem should come from the confidence that she’s capable of taking effective action, not just looking pretty.

Pay Attention – Look at your daughter when you’re talking, set aside the smartphone and turn off the television. Let her know that you’re interested in what she has to say, and that she’s more important than the email you’re sending or the show you’re watching.

Love Her Unconditionally – Knowing that her father loves her unconditionally and that your love isn’t contingent upon meeting your approval gives your daughter the confidence and security of knowing that she has a strong support system, regardless of what happens.

Encourage Her to Make an Effort – Telling your daughter that you believe in her, that she should take a proactive role in her own life and that she needs to take reasonable risks in order to achieve her goals not only provides her with the encouragement she needs to step out on her own, but also lets her know that you have faith in her ability to succeed. Encourage your daughter to chase her dreams, work towards her goals and make an effort to accomplish the things that are important to her.

Model Good Self-Esteem – Fathers need to model strong self-esteem just as much as mothers do. Your children, regardless of gender, will take cues from the behavior they observe in you regarding how to react to certain situations, how to think and how to feel. Hearing you criticize yourself harshly will cause your daughter to look at herself in the same light, potentially damaging her self-esteem and skewing her perceptions of herself.