Tag: misbehavior

Finding The Reason Behind The Children Misbehavior

In every children misbehavior, there is always good explanations that become the reason of such behavior. This misbehavior will keep on continue until the reason is identify and fulfill. Mostly this behavior is happen because children still confuse and do not know the proper way to expressing, and fulfill or satisfy their intention.

As parents it is your duty to find out and identifies the intention reason behind the misbehavior. First you need to trust that your children are really have a good reason on their behavior. This will help in the process of identifying your children behavior reason. It also make the children more comfortable and trust you more. If you do not trust there is good reason behind your children behavior you can judge your children to easily. This will makes you less trustworthy for the children, and you will not be able to find the true reason behind your children misbehavior.

Then you also need to believe that communicate to your children are the way to get response from your children. If you do not satisfy with the response you should be willing to alter the way you communicate with your children until you can identify the real reason. Here are some basic methods to make communication with your children.

Put your self as your children friend or an ally  

Make proper and positive communication between you and your children. Put your self as an ally and gain their trust so your children can open up to you. To acquire this, it is important that you do not criticize, judge, blame and make negative remark or intention during communication process. Make them believe that you see them as good children, and have the good reason to do such behavior and you are on their side to help them. If you do not do that they will see you as enemy and become defensive, retreat and clam up or even to counter attack. If that happen it is impossible to find the true reason of their misbehavior.

Searching their good reason 

After you gain their trust and they start to open up with you then you can start to search their positive reason. Try to refrain yourself from using the word “why”, instead it will be better that you use a phrase such as “what/how is your behaviors do for you?”.  Usually they will reveal some positive intentions inside their answer, you need to be sharp to catch these intention inside their communication. Keep asking “what/how is your behaviors do for you?”  inside the communication until you reach the core of their reason and purpose.

Verify the reason back  

After you can grasp the true reason you can verify the reason back to the children. Therefore you will be sure the true intention behind the children misbehavior.

Fulfill the reason with proper behavior 

After you identify the positive reason behind the misbehavior, then you must consider that is the true reason. Then tell them that you respect them for actually trying to achieve something that is positive and offer them your help as much as you can. Tell them that the fact this reason is the proof that they actually is a good and kind person compare to the negative behavior. Help him to find a proper behavior that is reflecting their good and kindness to satisfy and fulfill their positive intention.

Naughty Children

Many children have difficulty to communicate to their parents so many of them will acting up since they have unmet needs or unhappy feeling which they are trying to said to their parents.

Misbehavior’s can be caused by plenty of stuff. This could be just from mimicking the parents behavior or they acting up to get what they wants. the common reason for their numerous misbehavior is for their need for attention and acceptance. When a child doesn’t get accepted socially, they will express their disappointment with misbehavior. So if a child doesn’t get positive attention, then they will keep put on an effort to get it, even dough they will get the negative attention by misbehaving. How to know about this? Well, if your children have been acting up more and lately you’ve been particularly busy, this could be a hint.

You have to consistently show your attention and love to your kid a couple times a day. Leave whatever you are doing at the time, pick them up and sit them on your lap. Make an eye contact when you talk to them and reassure them by mentioning their name. You have to maintain the relationship with your children by hearing to what they need to say to you, ask questions, be understanding, patient, and try to stimulate them mentally. Express sincere interest about what they saying to you. If you think they need more reinforcement, spend some time with them. Each child requires some attention focused solely on them each day.

Preventing Children Bad Behavior Before It Starts III

Preventing Children Bad BehaviorIn this final part we will discuss about the parent’s side themselves and their attention to their children.

Know yourself

In addition to being in tune with your child’s style; you need to be aware of what your particular needs are. It will always lead to trouble if you expect lots of peace and quiet after work, but your kids need your help with homework and a ride to soccer.

If you are tense and irritable, it will most certainly translate to misbehavior in your kids. Busy schedules rarely enable parents to have a peaceful dinner hour, but perhaps you can insist on twenty minutes to unwind in your room before you join the fray downstairs.

My mother made a rule that we couldn’t ask anything of her until she had changed into her jeans. That was our signal that she had decompressed after work and was ready to engage in the family hubbub.

Pay attention

Children often misbehave simply to get their parents’ attention. Though it confounds adults, children would rather be yelled at than be ignored. Perhaps it is Darwinian–in the wild, to be ignored by a parent meant that you weren’t safe.

Whatever its origin, this aspect of child-rearing can be very trying. Negative cycles can so easily begin by a child learning that acting up is the surest way to get a parent’s attention. The only way to avoid this is to lavish love and attention on your child when they are behaving well. Enjoy their company and play games with them.

Praise them with words and gestures often. Reward your child with special activities with you–not with toys and treats. If you sense that your children are acting up more than they should, then that is a sign that you need to stop waiting for your children to misbehave before you give them your attention. With all the love and attention from you that they need, there won’t be many reasons to misbehave!


This article was written by Katie Basson. Katie Basson is a parent, teacher, and creator of The BITs Kit Better Behavior Kit for Kids™. Katie teaches seminars on behavior modification techniques, and assists parents through challenging behavioral and educational issues. She serves on the Board of Directors of the YWCA and is an educational advisor to Zoesis, Inc., a children’s software company. Katie’s expert advice has been sought for articles in The Boston Globe and Parents Magazine.