In every children misbehavior, there is always good explanations that become the reason of such behavior. This misbehavior will keep on continue until the reason is identify and fulfill. Mostly this behavior is happen because children still confuse and do not know the proper way to expressing, and fulfill or satisfy their intention.
As parents it is your duty to find out and identifies the intention reason behind the misbehavior. First you need to trust that your children are really have a good reason on their behavior. This will help in the process of identifying your children behavior reason. It also make the children more comfortable and trust you more. If you do not trust there is good reason behind your children behavior you can judge your children to easily. This will makes you less trustworthy for the children, and you will not be able to find the true reason behind your children misbehavior.
Then you also need to believe that communicate to your children are the way to get response from your children. If you do not satisfy with the response you should be willing to alter the way you communicate with your children until you can identify the real reason. Here are some basic methods to make communication with your children.
Put your self as your children friend or an ally
Make proper and positive communication between you and your children. Put your self as an ally and gain their trust so your children can open up to you. To acquire this, it is important that you do not criticize, judge, blame and make negative remark or intention during communication process. Make them believe that you see them as good children, and have the good reason to do such behavior and you are on their side to help them. If you do not do that they will see you as enemy and become defensive, retreat and clam up or even to counter attack. If that happen it is impossible to find the true reason of their misbehavior.
Searching their good reason
After you gain their trust and they start to open up with you then you can start to search their positive reason. Try to refrain yourself from using the word “why”, instead it will be better that you use a phrase such as “what/how is your behaviors do for you?”. Usually they will reveal some positive intentions inside their answer, you need to be sharp to catch these intention inside their communication. Keep asking “what/how is your behaviors do for you?” inside the communication until you reach the core of their reason and purpose.
Verify the reason back
After you can grasp the true reason you can verify the reason back to the children. Therefore you will be sure the true intention behind the children misbehavior.
Fulfill the reason with proper behavior
After you identify the positive reason behind the misbehavior, then you must consider that is the true reason. Then tell them that you respect them for actually trying to achieve something that is positive and offer them your help as much as you can. Tell them that the fact this reason is the proof that they actually is a good and kind person compare to the negative behavior. Help him to find a proper behavior that is reflecting their good and kindness to satisfy and fulfill their positive intention.